Darlene March remembers sitting in the Huntington Beach coffee shop, drowning her downsized dreams in caffeine.
It was 2001 and the stock market exploded after the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Her excellent position as a public relations specialist for an investment newsletter went up in a puff of smoke.
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?The Power of Positive Doing'
What:Author
B.J. Gallagher speaks at a WomanSage meeting.
When:6-8:30 p.m. Nov. 13
Where:Center Club, Costa Mesa
Information:womansage.org
"They offered to hire me back on contract," she said. "In other words, they wanted a divorce but they still wanted to date me. Yeah, right."
She was 56, happily married, two kids in college. In the coming weeks, she lost 15 pounds "although I wasn't even on a diet."
"I had read once, when you feel down on your luck or depressed, you reach down into your gut and pull out the inner strength you never know you had," she recalled.
She went back to school and got a certificate in public relations and marketing from UC Irvine. She consulted with professionals, went to networking meetings, took public speaking classes.
Today, as one of the nation's most successful experts in financial public relations, with a specialty in book promotions, March can say: "I want to thank the people who laid me off. It was the best thing that happened to me."
March is a prime example for B.J. Gallagher's new book, "The Power of Positive Doing."
"It's never too late to be what you might have been," Gallagher said. "We hear so much about the bad stuff.
"Like I wake up tired and I don't feel like doing anything and it's rainy and I want to stay in bed all day. But if I get up and do one thing, like the dishes, I simply put one foot in front of the other and pretty soon action turns my thoughts around.
"I focus on behavior, and trust attitude and self-esteem will follow."
Gallagher is an author and inspirational speaker who writes business books that, she says, "educate and empower, and women's books that enlighten as they entertain."
She estimates that she has written at least 30 books, including "Oil for Your Lamp: Women Taking Care of Themselves" and "The Road to Happiness: Simple Secrets for a Happy Life."
Her life has not been a bed of roses, she said.
"I used to get tension headaches all the time. I thought, if I can do something physical, it burns off nervous energy. If you sit, it just builds and builds."
Women are her best audience, she acknowledges, because "women have no trouble asking for help. Under stress, they don't go into 'fight or flight' like men. They tend to befriend, join a support group.
"Men are reluctant to ask for help, and I think part of this is that men invest most of their emotional energy in a work role. Their identity is all invested in what they do and what they earn. And if they lose that, it's a bigger blow than to a woman, who sees herself in other roles like a mother, daughter, neighbor, wife. ..."
Gallagher's most lauded achievement might be her success in getting people to understand themselves better.
"When we understand ourselves, we manage ourselves better," she said. "When we understand how our brains work, they work for us."
She's an Air Force kid, she says, who grew up "all over the world." At 63, she delivers her message that "action alleviates anxiety" with a familiar cheeriness.
Gallagher talks about losing the attitude of "cloudy with a chance of anxiety," but for some, finding a new path is not easy.
Karen Twichell spent 34 years working in the aerospace industry. At age 52, she learned that her company was moving to Florida.
"I didn't want to move to Orlando," she said. "So many of my co-workers were depressed about the change. I had to figure out how to get beyond this."
She had always lived in Orange County. But at her age, not many jobs dangled, inviting her to apply.
Then she thought about her life, about her recent experiences caring for family members through serious illnesses. She realized the baby boomers were facing a sandwich of elder care and child care as parents lived longer, often with serious illnesses.
"I had kept a journal when caring for these family members," Twichell said. "I could draw on emotional and practical issues as well as research."
"A Caregiver's Journey" was published two years later. "What kept me going was setting new goals for myself," Twichell said. "Like speaking. I was doing good but not great."
Twichell joined Toastmasters International and today is one of 13 women worldwide listed as an "accredited speaker."
"I continuously set new goals for myself," she said.
The death of her sister, and Twichell's emptying her sister's home, was what she calls a "depressing adventure" that turned into a life change.
After 30 years of washing windows and other housekeeping chores, she and her husband sold their Newport Beach home and plan to move into an apartment where they can "play more tennis."
Twichell said caregiving and life changes can put you "down in the dumps." But positive action can pull you out.
Gallagher likes to quote another author, Ken Blanchard, who co-wrote "The One Minute Manager."
He said, "People who feel good about themselves produce good results. ... And people who produce good results feel good about themselves."
In her book, she writes:
"What's in a word?
Assess your options.
Call up your courage.
Take your first steps."
In other words, act!
Contact the writer: jghaas@cox.net
Source: http://www.ocregister.com/articles/gallagher-375401-twichell-women.html
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